~NOU author Jean shares his personal story of his 2013 Nevada Buck~
Although this was a day of celebration, it was also a day to reflect on the struggles that allowed me to achieve success since my fathers death in July of 2012. I would have to say at the young age of 25 I learned about loss and coping mechanisms. Without coping mechanisms, you cannot really get through anything in life. Creating solutions to problems is of utmost importance when an individual learns what life is really about. Before I indulge into this, though, I would like to give all of you some background information as to why and how I became the man I am today. Growing up was like any other child’s life for the most part. Although it was like most child’s upbringing, my father knew the meaning of hard work. He was extremely hard on me growing up and I used to resent my father for it. He made sure that we knew, as his kids, the meaning of hardship and hard work. I remember my father standing over my brother and I, almost like a drill sergeant, smoking a cigarette, telling us to work faster, as we dug a hole for his newest fruit tree. He’d yell and curse at us but he always provided for us and rewarded us for our hard work with these crazy adventures out hunting and fishing. You know, that grumpy old man even took me deer hunting every year for my birthday. No, we didn’t always kill a deer, but we went for the thrill and honestly I think it was to escape reality. That man was happiest when he was hunting and fishing with his boys. He may have been hard on us kids, but he wanted the best for us. He didn’t want his kids turning out to be punks who had no respect for others. Oh! It might be important to mention this…he was also an ex-marine. The man lived by this and always told us boys ‘you don’t know what hard work is until you’ve been in my boots.’ The two words “I can’t” didn’t exist in this mans vocabulary and we knew to never say “I can’t” or we would not like the outcome. All in all, that man taught me all the things I know today. From the beginning, I knew that hard work was going to be my greatest uphill battle, but that it would pay off in the end. It doesn’t always happen, but most often it’s a sure thing. Hard work didn’t always see me through everything, but I did learn that there could be exceptions to the rule. Changes occur throughout life and adapting to the situation is sometimes easier said than done. In July my life changed dramatically. My father died my senior year of college. I had lost the man I looked up to for so long. I would always say to myself, “I hope I’m as tough as that old man when I’m that age.” I was two days into my second semester of summer school. I thought to myself how am I going to graduate this May after all this. Then, I remembered what that man told me religiously, don’t you ever say “I can’t.” I found that inner strength my senior year and pushed through summer classes, fall, wintermester, and the spring semester to graduate from the University of Nevada Reno in May 2013. You know I found out at a young age that the hardest things in life are what make or break you. This has become the main focus in my life, maintaining and balancing all aspects of life, whether they are good or bad. After noticing my desire for things was depleting rapidly, I decided it was time to dream again. I reflected on all the hunting and fishing trips my father and I took together. I remembered what it was like to dream again. What it was like to feel happiness and excitement about something. Once I decided my father’s death wasn’t going to be my downfall, I forced myself to get out and feel things again. I began to fish and hunt the mountains in an attempt to remember who I was. This solution created many other problems and solutions in itself. I was used to doing these activities with my father, but now I had no one to share my memories with. It made me sad, but it also made me become accustomed to the pain, which made me realize that the real solution was to learn to enjoy my hobbies again. The memories only make the experience more meaningful. Since then I’ve been successful in creating new friendships, got a job and have been lucky enough to hook up with REEL Lifestyle to pursue my passion. Surrounding yourself with positive people makes life more enjoyable. After I felt my passions coming back into full swing I decided to dedicate a hunt to my father. This was going to be a hunt where I set out to shoot a trophy buck with a muzzleloader I bought my father before he died. I knew it was going to be hard and I have to thank my good friend Sean Shea for helping me in achieving this. The stalk was textbook, with the wind being perfect, the rock outcropping being in between the bedded buck and us for a shot at 98 yards, iron sights and the deer was asleep in his bed. We waited for what seemed hours for the buck to stand up out of his bed. He finally stood up, turned broadside, and before I knew it, a huge plum of black-powder smoke came out of the barrel. I had achieved a goal, not only for myself, but for my father. I’m pretty sure he was there with me in spirit. I even had my lucky REEL Lifestyle hat on for this hunt. After reaching the buck, excitement and sadness came over me. It was like a flashback of memories rushed through my head like a slideshow. After taking photos, I spread my father’s ashes in this deer’s bed, at over 11,000 feet in the wilderness. I would like to thank my family for support in this, my wife for understanding my addiction and most of all my father for being such an influential part of my life, even though he is not here anymore.